river crossing

I spent the afternoon wading

through Sanders, Sinclair and Wakowski

page after page, as if life depended on it

finally discounting Sinclair’s easy style

because he seemed to only push

his own agenda and there seemed

no depth in that.

 

so how does one make sense of things?

with days being buttressed by anxiety

and not enough time for self reflection

to even fit into a thimble

important decisions needing to be made

and your mind swimming because of it.

 

It’s the last days of April already

and so much dependent on it

only seventy dollars left in cash, and

the spring grass nearly knee high;

with little to be done except waiting.

 

a small jar of “bitter pills” sits on the counter

waiting to be swallowed; if warranted

with a hundred and fifty miles wedged

between responsibilities and confusion,

no opportunity for freedom or knowing

whether one last try will even have

the desired effect on unmoved hearts.

 

it comes down to realizing this;

that no one can do this for you and

no one can take this long plunge; but you.

one can hope to make the right choices

but much like preparing to ford a moving stream

you have to keep in mind that springtime eddies

can be very dark and very deep, indeed.

 

April 25, 2012  By c. m .brooks

Advertisements

~ by christinambrooks on April 25, 2012.

One Response to “river crossing”

  1. “with days being buttressed by anxiety” I love that line.
    Overall, I can really relate to this poem and as always, well done! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: