The Trouble with Elephants in Ohio

The trouble with elephants is not their size
or their unwieldy, exuberant nature
but that the Midwest is really no place for an elephant.

The I-ching warned me about riding with elephants
or consorting with them but I wouldn’t listen.
Now, here I am, in the midst of a pack of them.

Last summer when I headed down to Ashland
driving thru Amish country, south of Oberlin,
an elephant appeared near Orange wanting to hitch a ride.

I was eager to oblige him. He was filled with stories and enthusiasm.
He said if I took him along
he’d teach me the ways of the Tao and that I’d be blessed.

But elephants are notorious for carrying a lot of baggage
and since they don’t drive they are no help on long trips.
They are often stuffed into the back seat with their trunks
draped precariously out the window.

Known for strewing peanut shells and popcorn all over the car floor,
their need to stop often to graze on the banks of muddy creeks,
their incessant desire to listen to progressive jazz when all I want is bit of quiet.

And, it’s just intolerable that they’ve been caught dozens of times
rifling thru peoples pockets during poetry readings.
They are well known pickpockets you see.

Elephants get car sick when it rains,
are attention hogs and wear brash colors.
Always looking for notoriety.

And their incessantly muddy feet…
well let’s just say I’m tired of it.

c.m.brooks 11-15-17


~ by christinambrooks on November 15, 2017.

One Response to “The Trouble with Elephants in Ohio”

  1. This is brilliant! I want more elephant.

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